I was content as a witness until I was DF for not forcing my daughter to have the child of her rapist. I continued to attend meetings for 8 months After one Elder counseled my 11 year old son on his talk He said to him. That he would help him with his talks now because he no longer had a father. That did not faze me I just told my son that the man was being ignorant
I kept thinking of the scripture about loving your enemies "Am I now the enemy" I asked myself If not why am I being treated so badly. Not one word of encouragement from the Elders during that 8 months I was treated like shit After the 8months they wanted to talk to me about reinstatement. I refused You have to be repentant. Right ! I was not They said I no longer had a relationship with God after I was DF. That was not true. I never believed he had abandoned me.
So I started attending church where I found love and acceptance not condemnation I always remember what one Church said when I told him that the witnesses think your all hypocrites . He said "come right in your welcome" and I thought "yes we are all sinners no one has made it. Didn't Jesus befriend sinners and condemn the self righteous" Anyway I made friends with Jan Groenveld subscribed to Randy's periodical and researched the basis of my faith in Jehovah's so called Organization. The evidence was overwhelming. I was a true believer Now that I knew it was a lie Not the truth I could not go back even though I realized what it could and did cost me ie: loss of friends family and marriage. I could not live a lie
"AHA" moment No just a gradual realization I had been deceived